Wednesday, October 3, 2012

It's October.

I will start by saying, if you are offended by breasts, don't read this. Just close the page.

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I haven't really updated in months for several reasons. The main one being J is doing really well. I'm up and down but that's just the way I am.

I decided to post today because it is October and as you all know October is breast cancer awareness month.

I'm not going to go into my scare but if you'd like to read about it, it's here.

Today I spent much of the day in bed thanks to my chemo shot, methotrexate, I get every Tuesday.  I won't debate the whole, cancer patients go through so much more than someone with RA/lupus/JA thing. My Dad is currently undergoing his fourth round of chemo. I know what it's like! Just because I don't get the same dose at one time doesn't mean it isn't chemotherapy. It is, and it sucks and it makes me sick.

Anyway, today I kept thinking back to the conversations I had with Granny over the years. She made me promise to get any and all breast lumps I ever found checked. I kept my promise. If you read about what I went through in January you know that everything looked good and that my follow up in July showed that the cysts are all back but the mass they found has not grown.

I decided to share a few of the photos I took right after the procedures. They are edited and honestly do not show how bad I bruised. This is NOTHING compared to what women with breast cancer go through. I had 1 biopsy and several, like 10, cyst aspirations but that is nothing when you are faced with loosing your breasts. I am thankful that my biopsy came back OK but I know a mom, my age, who went through this same thing a few months before me who needed a double mastectomy I believe right before Christmas.

Cancer sucks. It doesn't matter what kind it is. It's a horrible, horrible disease and none of us can say that we don't know someone who is currently fighting, won or lost their battle.

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss my Granny. She fought a long battle but in the end breast cancer won. She stayed long enough to see Rick and I FINALLY get married, she met her great grand kids and she had a strong bond with both of them. I wasn't her granddaughter "in law". I was her granddaughter. And I miss her.